This is England’s worst ever cricket team. It’s made up of players who weren’t very good, some were bad, and Martin McCague was even called ugly. These players didn’t fit well, only played one match, or were just good county players who should never have played for England. You might not even remember some of them.
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Let’s look back and thank Illingworth, Graveney, Miller, and Dexter for giving us some laughs over the years by choosing these players:
Tim Curtis
Tim Curtis used to teach English at Worcester Grammar School. In 1988, he played against the West Indies and learned some tough lessons on the field (5 caps, batting average 16).
Martin Moxon
Martin Moxon is now a coach at Yorkshire and Durham. He once scored 99 in a test against New Zealand and was 81 not out at the end of day three in the next match, but rain washed out days four and five (10 caps, batting average 28).
Ed Smith
Ed Smith is now a writer, journalist, and selector. He scored 64 in his first test innings but only 23 in his next four, leading to his international career ending quickly (3 caps, batting average 17.4).
Darren Maddy
Usman Afzaal
Usman Afzaal was criticized for having a cocky attitude and driving a flashy car when he debuted against Australia in the 2001 Ashes. The Australians targeted him, and he didn’t perform well (3 caps, batting average 16.6).
Aftab Habib
Aftab Habib is barely remembered, but he played two tests against New Zealand in 1999 and didn’t do much (2 caps, batting average 8.6).
Richard Blakey
Richard Blakey played two tests, scored a total of 7 runs, and took two catches. He’s more known for his autobiography, “Taking It From Behind” (2 caps, 4 innings, 7 runs).
Min Patel
Min Patel played two tests for England in 1996, taking only one wicket. He is considered one of England’s worst cricketers (2 caps, bowling average 180).
Alan Igglesden
When Alan Igglesden debuted in 1989, England captain David Gower didn’t recognize him. Later, Ted Dexter called him ‘Malcolm Devon,’ showing how unknown he was (3 caps, bowling average 55).
Mike Smith
Gloucestershire fans believe Mike Smith’s England career would have been different if a catch had been held in his only test. He didn’t take any wickets (1 cap, bowling average n/a).
Darren Pattinson
Darren Pattinson, a former Australian grade cricketer, was unexpectedly selected to play one test for England in 2008. It was seen as a poor choice (1 cap, bowling average 48).
Twelfth Man Martin McCague
Martin McCague, fondly referred to as “Martin McCaddick” by Ted Dexter, was supposed to be our opening bowler in the starting XI. Unfortunately, he got injured during the warm-up.
